A Mother in Ramadhan
Posted October 6, 2007on:
The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: “Instruct your children to observe Salah when they are seven years old, and reprimand them if they do not observe it when they are ten years old and do not let them sleep in one bed.” (Abu Dawood)
The Western and Islamic concept of women and livelihood
The western world propagates the idea of both the spouses entering the world of work to increase the family income. As a result young toddlers are entrusted to the care of maids, creches and day-care centers. The West has, through their mass media, drilled the point home that life is fun, home-making is dull and children are a burden. This philosophy has proved to be short-sighted in many ways. While the family income, material possessions and luxuries increase the children grow up with little parental guidance. The wealth that is amassed during the early years when both parents work later has to be used to solve the drug problems, heart problems, sleep problems and marriage problems caused by children who are morally bankrupt.
Islam opposes the Western view. Islam recognizes the great responsibility of a woman in the family environment. A woman is the queen of her home. She plays a pivotal role in educating, guiding and motivating her husband and children. A mother is the perfect person who can create an environment in the home conducive to the teachings of Islam.
Only women are uniquely qualified to be the queens of their homes. It is not by accident that pregnancy and nursing are purely feminine tasks. Allah has given women the special talents and psychological makeup needed to take care of the children. There is no substitute for a mother’s love. No one can extract and bottle motherly compassion. Her patience and kindness, her willingness to sacrifice her own comforts, her natural affinity for children and her instinct of knowing the needs of her child are unique to her nature.
It should be understood that Islam places the financial responsibility of earning and supporting the family upon the father. While a mother can choose to work and earn an income she needs to stay within the framework outlined by Islam in terms of her dressing, traveling, contact with strange men, fulfilling her responsility to her children and husband, etc. These guidelines set by Islam are in fact aimed at protecting and safeguarding her. For this reason she should seek employment in a protected environment and not seek employment outside this protected environment unless in extreme cases.
Why a mother is so valuable in Ramadhaan
Ramadhaan is the most important month of the Islamic year. It is in this month that the family worships Allah and practices Islam more fervently and with greater enthusiasm. The Muslim family spend precious moments of their time together during Iftaar and Suhoor. These two meals provide the fuel and blessing that grant a Muslim the physical and spiritual strength to fast.
The food Muslims consume plays a critical role in their worship. Allah mentions in the Quran : “Eat what is wholesome and do good deeds.” In other words, wholesome and halaal food promotes good character and actions. The responsibility of ensuring that wholesome meals are provided for the family rests on the father and mother. The father earns pure and halaal sustenance. The mother ensures that the food that is consumed is wholesome and halaal.
A few ideas on how a mother can create an Islamic home in Ramadhaan :
- Encourage children to recite Quran regularly every day even if it be a little. This will discipline them and make them love the Quran.
- Encourage them to fast even for an hour or half a day. This will build their confidence.
- Let them perform Salaah together with the mother while she prays.
- Teach them one new thing about Ramadhaan every day, eg. a dua, hadith, benefit of fasting and taraweeh, etc.
- Teach them to avoid junk food. Ramadhaan is, after all, a month of diet control!
- Assign one of the kids the responsibility for waking everyone up for Suhoor and Fajr (Set your alarm clock, just in case!) This will teach them the importance of Suhoor and Fajr.
In Ramadhaan, specifically, there must be a constant reminder of an Islamic home! Children learn from a mother’s personal example. A mother who is always there by supervising and disciplining her children and who keeps busy with Salah, Qur’aan and Dua provides the most favourable Islamic atmosphere for piety and happiness in the home. A mother provides a special warmth and tenderness to the family during Ramadhaan. Ramadhaan without a mother can never be a true Ramadhaan. Ask anybody who has lost a mother within the last year how sad and empty that home now is.
A dua for our mothers and sisters
May Allah grant our mothers the understanding of their critical role in every Muslim home. They are the spiritual pillars upon which the bricks of worship and obedience stand. If they fall or crumble the future of the Ummah is at stake. If they stand firm the Ummah will be able to produce the likes of Khalid Ibn Walid Radhi Allahu Anhu, Junaid Baghdadi Rahimahullah and Rabia Basria Rahimahallah. If they fail in their responsibility our Maryam will become Mary, our Bilal will become Billy and our Yusuf will become Joe. May Allah protect our mothers and sisters from blindly aping the filthy dressing, speech, behaviour and culture of the west. Their culture has failed. Time has shown that they can boast of little except wife batterings, broken homes, AIDS, extra marrital affairs, rape, pornography and shamelessness. The world is waiting for Muslim women to lead the way in showing how Islam can solve the problems of our morally decaying society. May Allah make our Muslim women true beacons of piety and strength. Aameen!
p/s: I MISS my mama 😦